Posted by
statesrights on Monday, December 22, 2008 12:00:00 AM
These following thoughts, or story rather (its all a
g-ddamn story) were conceived while waving a salt and peppered glance toward
the magazine rack (dunno-y). I looked upon a Bop, a teen
magazine that was the holy grail of almost two years of my life. Then it
was covered by Elijah Wood (young), Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Hillary
Swank (In the New Karate Kid). This time its cover (I did not look
further than that) was twas flooded with Ashley Tisdales, Hannah Montanas, Camp Rock
stars, Jonas Brothers. All these tweenystars, teenyboppers, are products
and plushes of the Disney Empire. I don't think that another network had
so much influence and power over the tween population (the most profitable age
group) than Disney has in recent history.
Sure Disney has always been that giant in the corner of the room. Weird but
wonderful. Orlando was always a big hit for families and so has its
movie and animated films over many, many years.
Yet, until the introduction of That's So Raven and Lizzy McGuire staring a then
teenage Hillary Duff, to a Wizards of Waverly Place and Cheetah Girls, the Disney Channel has always been that "cool
cartoon channel" that the cable company made available for a week or
two. It was mostly for young children, by far not Disney's greatest profiteer.
Today the Disney Channel and its creations and stars must bring in billions to
an empire that the original Walton, uh, Walt could never of even
imagined.
Elvis was king because he owned the tween world and so was the fab-four.
With children sprawled out on the floor, parents would watch the Ed Sullivan
Show along with their children and soon go out to buy them Beatles tickets or
memoberlia. Today their grandchildren are sprawled out in front of the TV
watching Hannah Montana's Miley Ray Cyrus (The greatest luck ever experienced
by a mullet wielding one hit wonder; Billy Ray). How many billions of
dollars of worth of High School Musical stuff will the Santa's little person
slaves make in the North Pole this year? From the east to the west, in
every country in the world from the half decent to the most corrupt blob of the
west, billions of daughters sobbed for Suite Life of Zack and Cody dolls.
I'm sure of it.
I don't know, it kind of makes me sick. If you ever discover that you
have less of a life than I and decide to watch something on the Disney Channel
(if you have a daughter I'm sure you've seen plenty of it) you'll notice how
little Disney actually spends in their sets, script writing, and actor
scouts. Watch one of the three High School Musicals to get the picture.
The film gives off this puky radiance of a false universe called a high school
full of pretty people that each have their very specific and important role in
the school structure, singing lyrics ripped off the Donny Asmond Show and
filling our youth's eyes and brain with sticky sloppy sweetness.
This is the first generation since before Elvis when the youth has completely
lost all its edge, confidence, and independence. Replaced with
We’re all in this together
I finally figured it out
(yeah yeah)
That all our dreams have no limitations
That's what its all about
Everyone is special in their own way
We make each other strong (each other strong)
Were not the same
Were different in a good way
Together's where we belong
In the words of the great Kill Hannah,
They
can't save us now
'Cause we're far away from home
And there's no where else to go
They can't save us now
'Cause we're lost and won't be found
We can scream so loud
But they can't save us now